I would like to take a moment of silence for my deceased wine cooler! (Pause)
You must have been depressed from the past 8 months of neglect. You had to sit there on the counter all lonely and abused. The stress must have gotten to you. You lost all energy; you couldn't even run the fan that cooled you down.
This is our official goodbye Mr. Wine Cooler! Thanks again for all those chilled favors you did me. RIP!
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